Flossie and the Dragon
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Come all around and settle down
Fill goblet, fill up flagon
With wine and ale and hear the tale
Of Flossie and the Dragon
2
Before times we know, long long ago,
In a kingdom far away
With a castle grand, was a happy land
Where the sky was blue all day
3
But one fateful day, all the clouds turned grey
And the sky grew dark and spooky
Then a dragon came, midst smoke and flame
And bore off Princess Suki
4
The court was fraught and the king distraught
And the kingdom was lamenting
Though the people yearned for her safe return
Bad dragons aren't repenting
5
Through countryside the news spread wide
And with it fear and dread
Till it came at last to a field of grass
Where a young sheep quietly fed
6
From the common stock of his local flock
This sheep would stand apart
That body small and wrapped in wool
Hid a brave and noble heart
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This sheep was moved, though cloven-hooved
He knew there was no other
In this time of need who could succeed
So he went and told his mother
8
'I must haste away, I must leave today
Though I know not where fate leads me
But a sheep must do what a sheep must do
And my princess now: she needs me!'
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And with that said, he turned his head
As towards the court he trotted
His soul took fright at poor Suki's plight
For with her he was besotted.
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The road was long, but his will was strong
Though his hooves were sore and aching
He would see it out, for he had no doubt
Of his serious undertaking
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The king and court were sore distraught
The womenfolk were wailing
In a voice of dread then the old king said
'Times are dire and we are failing
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'Many knights have tried, and many died
Our odds seem close to zero
If we are to cope, then we must find hope
And a different kind of hero.
13
'One to stand firm, against that wyrm
One brave and rockfast sound
We direly need one who can succeed
But where will he be found?'
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Then was heard a bleat from out in the street
From the courtyard cobble paved
The door flung wide and a young sheep cried
'The princess must be saved!'
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Bold and alone he approached the throne
With purpose, without falter
'There's no time to lose, my King, don't refuse
Let me go save your daughter.
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'I must confess with the fair princess
My sheep's heart is enraptured
It distressed me great when I heard her fate
And of how she had been captured.
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'By my woolly fleece, she must be released
This is not a time for crying
'Tis a time to do what I have to do
I will save her or die trying.'
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The whole court gazed with the king amazed
At this sheep who spoke so bravely
Then with due accord the king took his sword
And answered Flossie gravely
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'By the words you gave, you are bold and brave
Thou rankest with the best
Here before God's eyes, I dub thee, rise
Sir Flossie, God speed your quest!
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'Take my trusty steed, twill be what you need
For the way is long and tricky
He will see you through what you need to do
Will my noble horse, Black Dicky!
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'I am old and grey and maybe this day
Perhaps also strange and kooky
But I'll make a bet that this farmyard pet
Will yet rescue Princess Suki.'
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And so off they sped, like the wind they said
Leaping both o'er river courses
They ran side by side, cross the countryside
For sheep just don't ride horses
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Over hill and dale, over lea and vale
Over banks grown green and mossy
And the people cheered as the two appeared
'Hurrah for brave Sir Flossie!'
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Till they came at last to that grim dark pass
Where Black Dicky would remain
For Sir Flossie said, 'I must go ahead
Alone to that dark domain'
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From the clean fresh air to the dragons lair
Where the sulphur fumes were choking
Then the dragon spoke through the grim dark smoke
'Young sheep, you must be joking
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'I will give the frights to any knights
Who through my domains creep
But I'm at a loss to care a toss
About a silly sheep'
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Brave Flossie stirred at the dragon's word
And his soul flared wild and woolly
In a single bound he took his ground
And bravely answered fully
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'I may be small and inflatable
And you might be big and bossy
But I'll make you pay, you will rue the day
That you failed to reckon Flossie!'
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The dragon laughed, 'You're just being daft,
There's no way you'll defeat me
But it's up to you, what can you do?
What can you do to beat me?'
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Then young Flossie said, 'I can beat you dead,
I can show how I am stronger
I can hold my breath to the very death.'
Said the dragon, 'I'll do longer!
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'My lungs can hold a hundredfold
My will can still a sigh
I'll hold my breath until your death
I'll watch you gasp and die.'
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Then Sir Flossie stood, his position good
And faced the dragon square
'Twixt you and me, let's see who'll be
The first to gasp for air.'
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As the wyrms lungs drew, a great gale blew
And when the wind abated
The dragon there was puffed with air
Sir Flossie stood and waited
34
They stood eye to eye as the day went by
And through the nighttime too
And one day more, then Flossie saw
The dragon turning blue
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It was clearly plain for the dragons strain
Showed in every feature
Till it expired, consumed in fire.
What a stupid creature!
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With the dragon dead, Sir Flossie sped
His quest anew arisen
One thing in mind, that he should find
The princess in her prison
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Through caverns nasty, hallways ghastly
Dungeons dark and dusty
Ways grim and deep, nought stops our sheep
Sir Flossie, brave and trusty
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Through tunnels grime, beset with slime
Past many a foul and grave view
He bleats and calls through endless halls
'Princess, I've come to save you.'
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At last a sound he heard and found
Her chained within a dark cell
With one hoof stroke, her shackles broke
'Thank God', he said, 'You are well
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'It fell to me to set you free
The king, your father, sent me
' The princess stared, and then she glared
'This is not done as it meant be.
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'I have born fair well being in this cell
Held for eating or for ransom
And I've often prayed that I would be saved
By a knight tall, dark and handsome.
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'But when I see what appears to me
A saviour strange annointed
I must confess, as a true princess
I am badly disappointed.
43
'What can't be cured, must be endured
Now this has been permitted
I will be glad, to see my dad
But then, he gets committed.'
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A lesser sheep would crack and weep
At the damsels cruel tirade
Though bold and just, he was non-plussed
And just a bit dismayed.
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'My princess fair, do not despair
I hear how you have spoken
I only need to see you freed
Although my heart is broken.
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'Mind not my heart, now we must depart
The way back's long and tricky
And while you ride, I'll run beside
That gallant horse, Black Dicky.'
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In the streets they waved, the princess was saved
'Twas a time to dance and sing
And they all cheered when white-coated men
Took away the daft old king.
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This story proves, though born with hooves,
You still can be a player
For far and near the people cheer
Sir Flossie, Dragon-Slayer!
